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To check back into
the progress made in other months, click on a month here:
For previous views
into the studio, check out
this
link, and if you want to see the studio in person, follow
this link. |
AUGUST STUDIO UPDATE
QUESTIONS OF FAITH
August 3, 2004 - With summer kicking into its hottest stretch,
studio's been all ups and downs, and my mind has failed to turn
itself off for even a minute, leaving wild thoughts, doubts and a
general feeling of malaise to permeate my soul and make me extremely
restless and ready for a much deserved break in Kansas City.
The wear and tear of this relentless
lifestyle has pushed me to this point. Despite some recent
successes, I've got the overwhelming impression that this cycle will
never end: paint, paint, paint, show, show, show, paint, paint,
paint. The real trick is keeping your energies turned towards
your studio and not letting the empty huckster-ism inherent in self
promotion and the distasteful drudgery of the art world permeate
into your soul and more importantly your work.
So far I think I've done a fairly good job of it, painting most
every day, avoiding signing on with a gallery full time, and being
able to produce whatever work I want whenever I want to, and being
fortunate enough to have been able to put together a good string of
shows.
But despite all that, there still is an
emptiness to it all, sort of an existential angst of the value of
doing this over and over. It's like Ecclesiastes, where the
philosopher who doubts everything and decides we're all just
'chasing the wind' ends up all you can do is enjoy things every day
and make a go of it, because we'll all die sooner or later, and
after death, it really doesn't matter if you were wise or foolish,
rich or poor, just how you enjoyed what you were given. |
And on top of that little biblical
passage, the movie 'Wise Blood' has been resting on my soul lately,
as I've contemplated the fate of Hazel Motes, who started the
'Church of Christ without Christ' , preaching out of the frustration
and general lack of faith of those around him. His faith his
sublimated into his love of his car, and his catch phrase, "No man
with a good car needs to be justified" could easily be applied to a
man and his soul.
I've also been fortunate enough lately
to have hung out with Philip Trussell a lot lately, and we've talked
about the barrenness of my recent drinking binge, and how I
wistfully wondered how nice it would be to go through life fat and
content to drink beer and watch TV and not think too much. He
brought out a tangent about old souls (via the Virgin Mary and
Dante's Purgatory) and hit on my fear of going to heaven by saying
souls are impressionable, and some people's souls need to soak up
experience, good and bad, and doesn't make sense the soul heads to
heaven after death because it needs to soak up such earthly delights
all the time.
On top of feeling worn out, rudderless,
and generally listless from the heat, I've been haunted by a series
of bad dreams lately. My solution to all of these problems?
The only weapon I have left - painting. I've quietly begun
amassing an entirely new body of work that is a bit darker,
sarcastic, and painterly than previous efforts. I still don't
feel like the work is up for full commentary just yet, but in my
head, a series of visions, thoughts, and feelings are swirling that
are beginning to take hold. I am really not in control at this
point, as the imagery is pulling up out of the canvas and I am
almost just responding to it.
Philip stopped by with a friend
unexpectedly last Sunday, and looked around the studio. It
felt like DeKooning had just popped in to take a look around.
He enjoyed the work, saw a lot of the things that I saw and felt in
it, and reinforced my confidence in my solitary acts committed in
studio. I should have all of these paintings finished by
September, and hope to have a good 20-30 paintings done by October.
Here are some very awful pictures of
some of the works in progress. A lot of the newer canvases are
thicker, use a lot more oil, and work a lot more with areas of color
and pushing lights and darks around in broader strokes than in the
past. These paintings are happening a lot faster, and in my
mind I've got some pretty concrete ideas about where this is all
heading, but for now, you'll just have to be content to read
whatever random notes I attach to each of the paintings:
(Click on a painting to see a larger, crappier photo)
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Partially inspired by the movie 'Wise Blood', so far this painting is a jive on used car salesmen. |
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A magician and his assistant, I want to include a gesture of the magician snapping his fingers. I like the lady so far. |
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Political stump speech. The woman in the pink pill box dress is partially based on one of the French ladies that would award the yellow shirt at the end of one of the stages. She was gorgeous, shoulder length straight black hair, a nicely trimmed mod-ish yellow suit, she held herself with grace. So rare these days. |
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A bellydancer, I've had some ideas for titles for this painting, but nothing has hit it right just yet. |
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This one will most likely be called the 'Charms of the West'. I may include a hookah. |
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Originally conceived as an ambassador and his wife, I'm working my way through this one. |
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This will feature a slovenly preacher, and perhaps a gun. |
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Fresh paint, its feeling its way through. |
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Just started this in earnest the other night, its got potential to become a great painting. Right now it feels like a nice start. |
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