12 Movies of Christmas 4: Edward Scissorhands

Burnt out on all my music I’ve listened to all year, I’ve painted with some familiar movies as background noise. Here’s a log of twelve Christmas movies that I’ve vaguely paid attention to over the past few weeks:

Edward Scissorhands

Burnt out on all my music I’ve listened to all year, I’ve painted with some familiar movies as background noise. Here’s a log of twelve Christmas movies that I’ve vaguely paid attention to over the past few weeks:

Edward Scissorhands

When this movie came out, I was 15. I never saw it. Everybody around me loved it and swore by it. Even as Tim Burton’s production sank to cartoonish versions of his cartoonish self, Edward Scissorhands was hailed as a work of genius. Do you know why everybody around me loved Edward Scissorhands when they first saw it? They were 15 years old.

Well, that’s horribly judgmental of me, isn’t it? Well, this Frankenstein story is a sex fueled story satirizing lonely housewives, Christian do-gooders, and throws in a bit of young lovers falling in love. Fear of the new, suburbs, and class struggles dot the movie’s landscapes, but it’s all about Edward finding his place. Even though their story is doomed to failure and their love though not unrequited, remains unconsummated.  

I guess thinking about the movie makes me like it more than I ever thought I would, and Winona Ryder. Oh, what would the nineties have been without her? 

Ed/Edward

The scene I can most empathize with our hero is at the dinner table where the Dad keeps calling him ‘Ed’. The mother corrects him, but dad is undaunted, and brings Edward Scissorhands into the family a nickname that actually treads on his soul. As a Michael, I can’t tell you about the millions of lazy folks who immediately and mistakenly call me ‘Mike’ right after being introduced as ‘Michael’. I don’t know why people take the liberties to change someone’s given and preferred name, especially to a gutteral sound that could double as a burp.

But seriously, fuck those people. It’s Michael. It’s Edward. I won’t shortchange you and just call you an ass, okay asshole?

Cameo of the Movie

While he never actually appears on film, Tom Jones is an integral part of the movie. Delilah, It’s Not Unusual, and With These Hands all make audio cameos in Edward Scissorhands. Tom Jones also becomes a survivor in my personal favorite Tim Burton movie – Mars Attacks!

Random Notes

  • In my notes for this movie, I included “ORGAN SCENE – HYSTERICAL” I never made the effort to go back and find the scene, but I have always loved organ music, so take that for what you will.
  • I also made a note questioning how Tim Burton found an actor to play the villian in the movie that looked so much like the bad guy in Pee Wee’s Big Adventure. Further analysis proved me wrong.

Talk Show – The Staple of America’s Vox Populi

I really enjoyed the talk show scene in this movie. Decidedly un-Christmas, but very, very American in ever fashion. We get to witness the self satisfied American crowd layer platitudes, quips, and their own judgements to the politely roaring applause of the studio audience.

Christmas Message

One (seasonal) takeaway from the movie could be that people only really enjoy snow if they don’t have to commute in it. But more about Christmas, I would suggest that no matter how nice your personality is, you’re just going to be looked at as a sex symbol, and that won’t guarantee you presents on Christmas.