THE MORAL OF THE STORY:
DON'T BE A JACKASS AND BUY CRAPPY ART
January 27, 2004 - Austin,
Texas - "I bought these paintings from some traveling Israelis
backpacking through the US, and was looking for someone to stretch and
frame them, I was hoping you could help out." And so it goes,
another rich fool duped by some sweet talking kids. Thinking the
paintings seen below were hand painted originals by the traveling couple
(never mind the 4 different paintings, in 4 very different crapulent
styles) |
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1. No payment yet. "we'll mail a
check to you".
2. When told of the cost of poplar stretchers and mahogany
frames custom made for their art masterpieces, they said, "for
that much you should have to come in and hang it on the wall
too." They were serious. Quote from man on the job, "I
think they really seriously wanted me to go back down to the
truck, get a hammer, and hang those pieces of crap for them."
AND THE KICKER:
3. Two days after they bought the first four paintings, another
group of kids showed up at their door trying to sell more. These
kids were described as "gypsies" carrying armloads of rolled up
canvases. |
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Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with 'decorative art', but
please don't overpay for these crappy 'hand painted originals' when
with a little elbow grease you can find real hand painted originals
not produced in Korean sweatshops produced by local artists who are
really wondering where their next meal is going to come from.
Worse off, don't pay approximately 600% more than the cost of these
cheap 'hand painted originals' and then brag to your friends about
the good value you got in choosing the extremely crappy art that
will now classlessly grace your living room walls. |
This is not a piece of art. It is a mass
produced painting done by Koreans in a sweatshop. If you paid over
five dollars for this, I hope you can sleep well at night. |
I worked the better part of four years in a
'hand painted original' sweatshop, touching up and stretching well over
thousands and thousands of these canvases, each one the same as the
previous one, ingloriously categorized into 'abstracts', 'beach',
'animals', 'impressionist', et. al. I was an art student at
the time, finding a meager way to pay for my tuition and housing for
another crack at learning my trade. It was even more horrifying to
see these paintings classified as 'AA' or 'AAA' depending on the cost of
the painting that would be passed along to the consumer.
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I got through my time stretching and touching up these damaged
canvases with the knowledge I was practicing a deep rooted type of
separation of church and state - church being art school and my own
private studio, state being the mass marketed schlock I was to deal
with for forty hours a week. To see these canvases pop up in
my new studio nearly six years removed from the last time I had to
personally deal with these creatures was a bit much.
The accompanying story was also a bit much
- some rich Austinite too pity on some traveling Israelis who told him
these were hand painted canvases. The miles they traveled on the
ducats this sap shelled out horrified me - knowing just how far you can
stretch a dollar makes $1200 seem like a lifetime of cheap meals and low
grade accommodations.
So take pride, young Ausitnite, and take heed, fellow Americans, and
please, try to look for local artists that strike your fancy before
falling prey to the phallacy of mall art that will truly clog your
arteries faster than the Big Mac you ate for lunch.
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This is not a piece of art. It is a mass
produced painting done by Koreans in a sweatshop. If you paid over
five dollars for this, I hope you can sleep well at night. |
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