| Of course, spending a buck and a half ironically is nothing new for me, and this sugar burger caught me off guard, and I felt I was being called to do something more - and without thinking I shot my mouth off
about how funny it'd be to eat it at McDonald's while eating one of their hamburgers. Everybody recoiled when they heard my plot, and even I was worried about just how bad the experience would be. Little did I know it'd be the most horrific thing I'd ever do. After days of procrastination, I got to McDonald's and chose to order a Quarter Pounder with Cheese because it looked the most like the Mallow Burger. When I opened the Mallow Burger's packaging, a pungent rush of lemony sugar scent spilled out.
Combined with the processed flavors and grease in the air, it was absolutely repugnant. I started in on my project, willing myself to alternate bites between the two 'sandwiches'. The mallow burger was soft and chewy, and contained more sugar than a jar of nutella. (I looked, an entire jar has 200g of sugar, the mallow burger has 64). I had to chew the burger a lot to just get it down, and soon it was time to bite into the 'real' burger. With the lemony taste covering my tongue, the McDonald's tasted, well, even worse than ever.
It was warm, but beyond that, just was hideous. Swallowing was easier, and soon I found myself chewing on the Mallow Burger again.
I wish I could say it all went easily, but I can't. I constantly was chewing Mallow Burger, and washing everything down with a Coke and the McDonald's fries. I wanted to be able to eat all of both burgers, but I failed. I joked before leaving to do this that I would vomit, and even I couldn't bring myself to taking that extra bite to make myself do it.
Below is a video I spent most of Christmas editing, it features Pop Will Eat Itself and the most cutting edge affects I could put together using Photoshop and Quicktime Pro.
I think it gives a slight glimpse into the horror that this project was. |
