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IRON MAN AND MY IGNORANCE
OF ALL THINGS HOLLYWOOD | 
A full review of Iron Man is at the end of this lengthy little story. | June 2008- Anyone who knows me fairly well knows I really have quite a distaste for movies. When I do go to the movies, I try arriving as late as possible to miss all of
the previews. In an ideal world, previews would go the way of the dodo, movies would start on time and that great dark and silence would shatter with the logo of the movie studio.
But this isn't a perfect world, so I roll with the punches as best I can and try to keep my comments during movies to a minimum. |
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Last week I left the theaters with Ian after watching Iron Man on its opening weekend. It was a thoroughly entertaining comic book movie, and left me with a couple of quick complaints: the dialogue during the fight scenes was nearly unbearable, the computer affects still get too dizzy and sped up during those scenes, and the tedious setup of the S.H.I.E.L.D. joke was a bit much with such an insignificant payoff. Once we got home, I proudly
told Ian how much I loved the movie and told him there really wasn't anything to complain about. He nearly spit out the water he was drinking and said, "You've already complained!" I sheepishly accepted the comment and told him it was water under the bridge.
Later on, with both of us toiling in the studio, Ian was looking up some of the superhero references in the movie. As he was, I read over his shoulder about some guy named Terrance Howard's would become War Machine. I was confused, as throughout the entire movie, I kept thinking to myself how good a job Cuba Gooding Jr. was and how it seemed like he really deserved that Oscar he won a few years ago. Ian immediately labeled me a racist, and my only retort was my ignorance of movie stars.
Fast forward a week later. Assuming the same positions in the studio, Ian rolled away from his computer screen and laughed about Josh Brolin's new role as George W. Bush. I had no idea who Josh Brolin was and made it clear. Ian was incredulous, and spouted out 'Goonies'? I said that movie was twenty years old, I wouldn't remember. He then replied with 'No Country for Old Men'? Intrigued, because I had just seen and enjoyed the
movie thoroughly a month ago. I asked which character and Ian berated me with a 'the main character!?!' I sheepishly asked, 'the bad killing guy?' and the response was fast and vitrolic - 'No - the cowboy!'
Puzzled by this turn of events, my mind raced through the possibilities of Ian's next response, but feeling a bit lucky, I replied the only way I could: honestly. "But I thought the cowboy was Kurt Russell."
With my ignorance of Hollywood stars in full bloom, I spoke over Ian's near incoherent under-his-breath mutterings and told him, 'Well, at least now you know I'm not racist, I can't tell any star apart!"
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IRON MAN AS A MOVIE Upon my first viewing, I left the theater excited and impressed. A fluid movie, with an interesting story, faithful to the comic, enjoyable performances, and a great use of special effects, there really was nothing to complain about.
The movie begins and ends with Robert Downey Jr. As Tony Stark, it's almost the role he was born to play - the arrogant playboy with the world in the palm of his hands, its a pleasure to watch him on screen. A rejuvenated Gwenyth Paltrow, seemingly off her recent string of dull and lifeless serious roles in Wes Anderson movies, seemed to get her fastball back and exude a bit of eye candy in a series of nice skirts and made me wonder if it was 1995 again when I had a huge crush of the then blonde haired beauty before she
turned British. It seemed like the rest of the cast - Lebowski, the anti Cuba Gooding, and the bit players throughout - raised their chops to just compete with the flashy joy Downey brought to the screen.
| As far as comic book movies go, this was a really seamless transition to the big screen. As tedious as most origin stories go, this was re-wrapped in modern times
making our 50 year old comic book hero relevant again. The dialogue was witty and quick paced. It was light, airy fun with a bit of restraint thrown in on the special effects end. The costumes and sets weren't entirely computer generated, and there was a plausibility in the computer graphics that never detracted from the movie. All of that began to fall apart in the knock down, drag 'em out fighting finale between Iron Man and his nemesis, when the action moved in typical summer blockbuster fashion - fast, faster and dizzying,
combined with some of the worst dialogue spoken on screen since the latest Star Wars trilogy. |
TOP FIVE
SUPERHERO MOVIES
1. Batman Begins
the best of the lot, this movie was dark, serious, and could survive on its own without the comic book.
2. X-Men 2
Magneto steals the show with his subtle role surrounded by great characters
3. Iron Man
fun, witty, and an enjoyable and hopeful movie to watch.
4. Spiderman
the best of the trilogy, with points deducted for the Green Goblin
5. Mystery Men
offbeat, great lines, and the best and most unexpected death of a superhero ever |
Upon a free second viewing, the jokes wore a bit thin, and the slightly overworked repartee Tony Stark had with his mechanical robotic arms definitely caught the short end of the attention span. The already mentioned SHIELD joke was just as bad a second time around too. The Afghan baddies also seemed a bit more cardboard in this, and the hope that a hero could fly overseas and help solve America's problems in one fell swoop seemed a bit too disingenuous and hopeful these days, but a movie can dream, can't it? |
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ONGOING AND UPCOMING SHOWS
2008
COMING SOON
Tales of the Really White Vigilante, Volume 2
our intrepid hero battles hipsters,
music festivals and his own demons
NOVEMBER
Solo Show
A show of new work
DECEMBER
Blue Genie Art Bazaar
creative gifts for the Holiday Season
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