My plan was simple - move a few letters on the keypad without making any major changes and increase a person's efficiency when texting someone about the next big party or simply asking, 'what are you up to?'.  How does this efficiency come about?  By moving the letters with the highest usage frequency to the front of each key on the keypad, so you don't have to hit 3 twice to get an 'E'.  In the new format, hitting 3 once will get you an 'E', and similar efficiencies can be seen with other letters as well: R (3 old, 1 new), S (4, 2), I (3, 1), etc.

Of course, this reformatting would do a number of questionable things.

1) It would counter ISO/IEC 9995-8, which standardized the telephone keypad to the current format in use today.
2) Make the keypad English specific, which like the Imperial System and 8 1/2"x11" paper, making yet another American-centric albatross to hang on the world's neck.
3) Destroy the charm of old movies when characters would simply pick up a phone and say, 'Operator, give me Westport 5684'.

Before I even thought of the first two ramifications, my close friends I called to celebrate my genius and impending royalty checks from every cellphone maker in the universe.  Immediately, the rain began to fall on my parade.  "Yeah, here's a solution - a new phone."  "Ever hear of a QWERTY keyboard?" "Um, you're right, this would be great, if it was 1991." "You know, putting a buggy behind a horse is a good idea too"  and so on.

I was crestfallen, and a bit crushed.  I pleaded for points on ingenuity and efficiency, but none were granted.  Timing, my friends, is a big part of genius.  Let that be your lesson for the day.

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