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It was decided then and there, on the phone with one of the few people I explicitly trust with my life and secrets, that I would give this person my password to my account, letting them take control and keep access to my facebook page away from my drunken hands. During the phone call, I played up the benefits of having access to my account - being able to snoop in on my life, follow along to the hundreds of ludicrous posts about Austin receiving 3/4" of snow, and seeing everything that drives me insane about Austin.
My friend asked just how boring I thought their life was, and continued to laugh as I excitedly started to buy into the beauty of the idea. So within minutes of that statement, a heady framework was hastily hammered out about the rules of this game of trust, and without fail, my password to facebook was emailed and my fate was now in another's hands.
The original rules to this idea was for my friend to withhold my access to my account for one whole week, which was quickly amended to last until the 16th, when a glance at the calendar revealed Valentine's Day truly was on the horizon. A few more emails fleshed out the rules: No turning on chat, no telling anyone, and "DON'T forget what the password is. Make it easy, but not something Drunk Michael will guess."
It was later that night I got a text message confirming things were done -
"Operation Inhostile Takeover is a go. I repeat the chicken has left the coop"
THE PLAN IN ACTION
And I got home, drunk, and tried logging into facebook, unsuccessfully, using a bunch of passwords that I thought may've worked, including simply adding 1 to the number at the end of my old password, to no avail. And so it was, I was on my own, cut off from the facebook world with any temptation to post an old nine inch nails song, some comment about how awful politics are, or to snidely remark using my always firmly correct beliefs on how wrong someone else's personal beliefs are.
My password changing efforts didn't go unnoticed by facebook, as HAL 9000 sent me a couple emails detailing the changed password and the fact a computer that never accessed my account was now using it. I exchanged some texts the first night of the experiment asking if the person in charge had 'snooped around', and the answer was a solid 'no'. When I got home, I drunkenly sent youtube videos to the Person in Charge asking for them to be posted, again, without any luck.
The next day I called another good friend I can trust. She was uploading pictures of her art to facebook and I broke my own promise and told her my whole story. She laughed and was excited and amused by my story, and I brazenly told her she was a slave to facebook and I was free, experiencing the grandeurs of freedom! Later on in the day, when I told the Person in Charge (PiC) about the phone call, the PiC laughed and replied, "Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose", a pivotal quote from
days gone by that made me feel a bit hollow in the way that only a good friend can prod the sensitive holes in your soul.
It was during that conversation that I gave up more control of my account, if that was possible, and told the PiC that they were allowed to post and comment freely. This led to a lively exchange of the possibilities of every embarrassing event in my life being posted to every affected party, and letting things ride. The possibilities of old photos, handwritten letters and uncomfortable and most likely drunken details of my life to emerge hung over my head. Again, I trusted this person explicitly, but
couldn't help but wonder what would happen.
After a couple days, nothing did happen. The PiC felt a bit weirded out by the experience, and I was cut off from any knowledge of what was happening with anyone I kept in touch with on facebook. The feeling was at best described as strange, at worst, like walking through the dark blindfolded and threatened. And then it happened. Drunk and at another friend's house, I vaguely cheated and logged in using another person's account. I quickly checked my page and saw it actually happened - I posted to
facebook, or rather, the Michael Schliefke on facebook posted to facebook. Apparently, I liked Anne Geddes scary photos of little babies, and also wrote a status update not only mentioning the babies, but the 'upcoming holiday'. Drunk, stunned, and without thinking, I replied to the status, while another good friend heard the lowdown and told me 'you could've trusted me, see, you didn't". More trust issues! For such a trivial matter as facebook, this was truly the rabbit hole I never anticipated but always suspected.
FOUR DAYS IN...
The next day I had to check in with the PiC and go over the events of the previous night. The PiC laughed at my discovery, and told me there were potentially worse plans in the offing, and despite my open pledges of encouragement to do so the day before, they weren't able to follow through, as it felt weird. As weird as it was to see words put into your own mouth, it was just as weird an experience to put them in another person's mouth, as we had both figured out. I felt dirty and gross using a friend's
account to comment on 'my' own status, and the PiC felt a tremendous burden about just how much the posting could've been misconstrued by innocent people reading the status and ultimately commenting on it. We exchanged our regrets and ill feelings, and commiserated over just how much of a burden this was becoming. Perhaps buttressed by the laughter and ludicrousness of the situation, I encouraged the PiC to continue on and stay on plan through the end.
There were four instances when people referred to facebook postings as if I had read them. I chuckled to myself quietly with each reference, and played along with the conversation the best I could. One of the most upsetting things about facebook is when you run into an acquaintance who mentions something you've done when they should have no idea you did it. After a while, you figure out it was something posted on facebook, and it just feels weird that people keep up with those things so much. There
is a tremendous joy to not being privy, in anyway, of anyone's goings on outside of real conversation. Perhaps that's just the bitter, technology hating old man inside of me, but I don't really have much of a need to know so much about anyone.
Also, it should be noted that my willpower, even when drunk during this experiment has been exceptional. It would take a mouse click to have facebook send me a new password, without trying to guess 'sajovic69', 'foreskin13', 'meatplow500', 'imgoingtobeyourbestman' and 'ekfeilhcs' over and over for all eternity. Deep down, I know I signed up for this, and everyone who knows me knows my natural stubbornness and self denial, so finally, those traits are paying off well.
ONE WEEK HAS PASSED...
And nothing but weirdness has set in to this whole project. Still, I'd say this was a raging success so far. A couple of posts were made by my friends in charge of my account at odd hours that I randomly happened to be awake during, which eased the implausibility of 'my' own actions on facebook. During a phone call with the PiC, they innocuously dropped in the line, 'and people really seem to be fond of your new stance with squirrels'. I was confused, and started to ask, 'What the hell do you mean'
when I realized outside the limits of my power, a post on facebook made me recant all my hatred towards the long, fuzzy tailed rodents I've spent most of my life hating. I sighed, and immediately and correctly guessed who the first commenter was, and went about my day. Later on, while sipping on a coffee with a friend mentioned seeing my early morning facebook post, I was able to deflect any amount of surprise and shrug it off with a nonchalant, 'yeah, I know'.
Abruptly during a phone call with one of the people that was placed in charge with my account, the conversation changed on a dime. "About that whole facebook thing..." Without any hesitation, we both commented about how weird the whole thing was. They quickly said, "When I first heard about it, I thought it was awesome, but when I logged on and started writing an update, I thought, this is weird, and couldn't post anything." Apparently, my carte blanch cavalier attitude allowing two trusted strangers to
post on my account was a bit too much. Their own consciences got the best of them - concerned with the ramifications of posting something that would be misconstrued by one of my friends and thus messing up my life or at least making things more difficult in the meantime.
Of course, we talked about how most everyone on facebook who is my friend has an understanding of my sense of humor, so even an early Saturday morning post declaring my love of muselix, pilates, sandals, and the Dave Matthews Band would most likely go unnoticed by 90% of my friends. Of course, the one friend who did reply proudly mentioned how he starts everyday with a bowl of muselix, listening to Bach and writing. The PiC who wrote my status was confused as to how someone could matter of factly gloss over the
obvious ridiculousness of my status, and come up with such a straightforward reply. Two things made this seem normal to me - 1) I post ridiculous things no one takes seriously and 2) that is actually what the person who replied does every morning. Their only reply was "How gay is he?" I defended my friend, a person neither PiC has ever met, by saying he's married and has a child, which puts him two rungs higher on the heterosexual ladder than I currently stand.
FEBRUARY 16th - THE END?
Much of the recent revolution in Egypt was accredited to facebook. I think its funny other countries can use social medias and the internet to overthrow a government while in the States the biggest use is to join a group complaining about people who use vinegar on french fries. On the original end-date of the experiment, I texted the two people sharing joint custody of my account and asked if they wanted to continue the experiment until the end of the month. The first reply:
"I'm down. I'm out of town for the next few days so I wouldn't mind an extension"
Apparently, my encouragement for the PiC to mess with a couple of selected friends worked.
The second reply:
"I think its time to go back to normal. I haven't even had time to check it. Are you ready?"
I wasn't, but I did press upon them this would be the only time I would be able to pull off such an experiment, and I extended the Experiment until the 27th of February.
Back in the real world, my housemates and I also met up in my kitchen for the first time the three of us had been together for weeks. Nathan quickly asked me about my new love of squirrels and I sheepishly played along, and Sarah told Nathan, "People change!" Suspicious, Nathan quickly countered, "I know Michael Schliefke, and he can't change." Point for Nathan...
THE PASSWORD PROBLEM
The biggest thing hanging over my head was not the mystery and shock of having one of my status updates be relayed to me without my knowledge, nor was it not having any clue what was happening with any of my friends, it was the password problem. From the onset, I made it clear to make the password something memorable but yet not something I would be able to guess. After the first couple of nights, I gave up trying to guess, but with the deadline for the handoff of the account back to me, I felt compelled to
redouble my efforts to crack the code.
I tried all the easy things first - at two attempts at a time before reloading facebook - from changing the number at the end of my password to a different band, to teachers and friends' names, to shared experiences and the like. Nothing worked. I then tried to get into the PiC's head and rethink how they see me and my life in the world. The hardest thing to do in the world is to see yourself through another's eyes. Even though this person knows more about me than anyone else in the world, what
events, incidents, compulsions and traits have I projected that would etch themselves permanently in their brain?
Second guessing everything I've ever known about myself, I dug hard and deep. The PiC would always laugh on the phone when I would list off the latest salvos I fired at the password, including 'youredrunk', 'donttrythis' and 'areyousure', including lists and lists of names, places, foods and habits. The PiC would laugh, telling me I was way more clever than they were, and they would tell me 'its really obvious, I am surprised you haven't guessed it yet.' Nothing I came up with worked, and the PiC would
ask, 'Do you want me to tell you?' and I would sheepishly reply, "No, it's okay." The PiC would sometimes laugh and say, 'I'm not telling you anyway' or on days they were exhausted with my texts and calls, would almost be at the point of telling me either way.
I feel its part of my end of the bargain to guess the password. So with a just over a week left, I've spent hours in the middle of the night rethinking the past 18 years of my life, rethinking every detail and experience trying to figure out the blaringly obvious password that has left me bewildered so far.
THE FINAL WEEK
My goal of the final week was to have one of the PiCs to poke and prod a couple of friends into some irrational responses. I kept encouraging a bit of mischief at the end of it all and was hoping for a big finale. Still, I continued to try cracking the password and ended up talking with the PiC on the phone again. The call started innocuously enough, talking about preparing canvases for painting, but swooped back into facebook territory with the update of the numerous things I've feverishly typed in the
past few nights. When I was asked if I wanted a clue, I resigned myself to saying yes, and heard that the word that made up my password was still in the new password. I started randomly guessing off the top of my head, and the PiC laughed and told me the letters may not be in the same order. I started guessing funny anagrams and the laughter continued.
When I got home from studio that night, I caught up on my emails, and soberly loaded up facebook. On the second try, I was in. It was a shocking moment, as I never really thought I would be able to guess the password. My first instinct was to contact the PiC and laugh that I finally figured it out! But before I hit send on the text, I calmly closed my phone and thought of the what little things I could do that would quietly mess with the two PiCs. I called a friend for ideas and advice, and
decided to sleep on it for a night. One of the PiCs has a birthday on Friday, and posting on their page would make them think it was the other PiC writing something. Such opportunities! Of course, I then was left alone with facebook again and it immediately became depressing looking at posts of flickr art, updates on food eaten, party pictures and links to activist websites. I checked five friends' profiles, along with my own to see exactly what postings I had done during my absence - one was done by special request from me and
the other was a note from one PiC to the other's profile telling them to remember how nice a person they are. And then I logged out of facebook, wondering if I really need it at all.
After sleeping on things, I woke up in the morning with my friend's drunken advice still ringing in my ears: "You know all the cracks in their marriage, exploit them!". So I logged into facebook, and posted on one of the PiC's pages and and mentioned something about doing laundry and dishes. I got a pat reply saying, "Thanks Michael" and within ten minutes got a phonecall from the PiC who started the conversation, "So you guessed it, huh?" And then it was all over.
WHAT WE LEARNED:
It's surprising the amount of things that I've learned from all of this. I started this as a way to stay out of trouble and keep any drama from creeping into my life, but it took on a much creepier, yet satisfyingly free tone from the onset. Ultimately, my dislike of facebook hasn't really changed, and having my account back doesn't really faze me too much either, as a matter of fact, it really all just seems so boring, but here's a list of things that popped into my head thinking about all of this:
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I picked the absolutely right people to trust for this project.
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People really rely on facebook. There were plenty of times when people would start conversations assuming you read their facebook post.
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I really didn't miss facebook. I've never have been too obsessed with it and find it generally creepy to know everything that everyone posts at all hours of the day.
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It is a beyond strange experience to post for someone else on facebook.
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Most friends I talked to during the Experiment said they would never trust anyone with their password.
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Trying to guess the password made me reconsider just how my friend actually has witnessed my life, and trying to pinpoint what experiences would be memorable cast me on a slightly odd journey of reflection and self-awareness.
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The letdown of actually guessing the password made me feel cheated.
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The whole project seemed like a larger than life idea at the onset, but in reality, mattered just as much as facebook in general.
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Everything involving facebook, including clever social experiments, is a waste of time.
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